I Got Pulled Over - Again: Nairobi 12

I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging, because I’m really not, but I’ve been pulled over so many times by the police that I’ve lost count.

That’s not as bad as it sounds. I mean, if you drive in Kenya long enough (that is, for more than the average length of a tourist trip), you will be pulled over. Guaranteed.

You’ll be pulled over at arbitrary checkpoints, roadblocks, airport entrances, roundabouts.

You’ll be stopped if you’ve done something wrong, if you haven’t done anything wrong, if the police decides you need to have done something wrong or if it’s been a long month and someone needs an early payday.

Your chances of getting pulled over jump dramatically at the end of the month (someone has to pay the bills) and exponentially during December. Interestingly, the same holds true of getting carjacked or your house broken into.

So the point is that, basically, me being pulled over countless times is pretty much what you should expect if you live in Kenya.

Was I guilty of any traffic offense? Not to sound elusive or anything, but that’s kind of hard to say. In some cases, clearly not. In others, possibly, although I would swear on any holy book in any court that there wasn’t a sign post telling me not to turn at that corner, and the lines that were supposed to be on the road hadn’t yet been painted. And – I admit it, although I’ll deny it if you ask - a few times, yup, I was guilty.

And I talked my way out of each situation.

Meaning: I never paid a bribe to get out. And that is no small accomplishment.


An extract from Nairobi 12, a humorous novel about life in Nairobi. Release date: Working on it!

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Nairobi 12: Our First House, Sort Of

The first house we rented in Nairobi was actually a two-bedroom guest cottage situated along a long, narrow road with the rather lengthy name of Rosslyn Lone Tree Estate. We were thrilled with our find: a tad small but sufficient for us; good security; backup water source (we had to forgo the luxury of a backup generator though); decent location; all for a great price. 

It really was perfect, a lovely old colonial era building, one floor perched above a garage that was used to store I don’t know what, but not cars. Surrounded by large trees, the cottage was small, cosy and with a lot of character.

Now, you might already know what that means, that whenever someone describes a house as having “character”, there will be issues. Well, we didn’t know this. Not until after we moved in, which was a bit too late to change our minds.

It started with the electrical outlets. 

First one set would stop working. The electrician, or someone who claimed to be one, would fix them, and the next day another set would fail. This went on for a while and having landed in Kenya so recently, I still had the rather naïve expectation that everything should work as per design. If there’s an outlet in the wall, it should work. Right? I mean, is it so strange to expect that a tap should have water in it? Or that an outlet should have electricity flowing through it? And so on. 

I have long since abandoned that unrealistic expectation and am thrilled if there’s enough water for a quick shower and a cup of tea. Electricity is way overrated. It’s amazing how long you can manage without it. And if only half the outlets work, that’s still more outlets than any human being really needs anyways.

An extract from Nairobi 12, a humorous novel about life in Nairobi. Release date: October 2013.

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